You may also feel angry, especially if getting pregnant was difficult for you, and now you face a potentially difficult pregnancy and birth. It’s true there are risks to multiples. You do need to be informed of the risks so you can be aware of troublesome symptoms and make informed choices. However, there are also many positive aspects of carrying and raising more than one baby at a time.
Two (or Three or Four) Heartbeats
It’s exciting to hear your baby’s heartbeat or see it on an ultrasound for the first time. Parents of multiples get the additional surprise of hearing or seeing more than one heartbeat. That can be thrilling and scary. Over time, as you adjust to the idea of a multiple pregnancy, seeing more than one blip on the screen may become less unnerving and more heartwarming.
Earlier (and More!) Sensations of Fetal Movement
Parents of multiples may pick up fetal movement weeks before parents of singletons. At first, you may need to be very quiet and still to feel the movements. The sensations may be light, like butterflies. But as the pregnancy continues, the movements will become more noticeable. Near the end, people sitting next to you may be able to see your babies’ bumps and squirms!
Double the Baby Bliss
As a parent of multiples, you’ll get to enjoy double (or triple or quadruple!) the milestones. Parents of one baby often love watching their peaceful child sleep. Imagine that scene times two or three or even more! You’ll also get to go through the thrill of the first smile, the first giggle, the first word, the first step, and so on, more than once. And you will also get to name more than one baby, which can take some of the pressure off. Maybe you and your partner will each get to choose a favorite name.
The Fascination of Watching Multiple Children Grow Together
You may begin to feel like you’re witnessing a research study in your own home, as you watch your children develop at different rates and in different ways. We all know that each person is an individual. That said, we don’t often get to see babies or children at the exact same age, raised in the same environment, grow together. For example, your babies may not only start walking at different times but also reach that milestone in different ways. One may scoot, then crawl, then walk. Another may coast around the room and never do much crawling. If you have multiples, you may find it interesting how your children play or develop in different (or similar!) ways.
Automatic Playmates
Just like any pair of siblings, twins may not always become the best of playmates. But in the younger years especially, they will be each other’s first playmates. The thought of life without their twin won’t even occur to them. As they get older, some twins remain close playmates. They may have an especially close sibling relationship as adults as well.
Automatic Family
If you have twins, and they are your first, you already have the average American family size of two children. If you were planning more than one child, it’s possible this pregnancy completes your family.
Get the Diapers and Sleepless Nights Out of the Way
Of course, if you plan on having more, this may not be quite a big advantage. However, if you think these will be your last babies, you’ll be able to go through diaper days and sleepless nights all at once, instead of over a period of years. Diaper changing and lack of sleep are often more intense than if you were caring for one baby, so it doesn’t mean it will be easy. But, if you’re going to focus on the positives, might as well celebrate the multiples boot camp path—it’s overwhelming but it’s over faster!
Multiples Pride
If you are a parent of multiples, you belong to a unique club. Not many parents will be able to relate to what it’s like to raise more than one child of the same age at the same time. So, lean on the parents that have been through it. You may find parents of multiples groups to be of particular support, especially at first.
Cuteness Overload
Whether you like matching outfits or dressing each of your kids uniquely, there’s no doubt that no matter how they’re dressed, twins or more are adorable. Take advantage of double the photo opportunities—you’ll want pictures of your kids hitting all of those milestones together and separately.
You Only Need to Throw One Birthday Party
When they get older, they may have different friend groups, so one party may not cut it. But when they are very little, you’ll be able to throw just one birthday party. Choose a fun twin theme like Thing One and Thing Two, or Tea for Two.
Focus on the Positive Side of Statistics
Yes, twin and multiple births come with risks. But, even though pregnancy risks tend to be higher for multiples, the likelihood of a complication is still relatively low. For example, if 10-15% of identical twins sharing one placenta experience twin-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS), 85-90% do not. And while 60% of twins are born prematurely, 40% are born on time. Be careful not to use the positive side of statistics to ignore symptoms or blow off doctor’s orders. Be sure to balance your optimism with reasonable caution.
A Word from Verywell
Getting the news that you’re have twins or more can be exciting but also anxiety provoking. While good prenatal care is a must, and you’ll want to gather as much support as possible for the early months and years, there are many things to celebrate about having multiples. There are support groups—both online and in person—for parents of multiples. Don’t hesitate to talk to a professional counselor if your anxiety about having twins is overwhelming.