Respect the other person’s right to privacy and their boundaries. Make a concerted, conscious effort to listen objectively and understand thoroughly. Try to partake in an equal exchange; a conversation is a dialogue not a monologue. Do not interrupt and allow the other person to finish speaking. Do not use words that are accusatory, threatening, demanding, critical, or full of blame. Be aware of how your mother or daughter listens and adjust your style. Use humor to break the tension. Control you facial expressions. Listen to yourself; you don’t want to sound intrusive. Don’t lecture or chastise. Sound positive. Determine the best time and place to talk; consider a relaxed atmosphere like a special lunch, outing, walk, or drive in the car. Remember that it’s not necessary to draw everything out into a full-blown discussion; unless you sort out the inconsequential issues, you may dilute the importance of the big ones.
How to Refine Your Listening Skills
You can’t partake in the art of conversing unless you also know how to listen. So, let’s make sure that we all know what it means to be a good listener. A good listener…
Walks away with new information. Doesn’t do all of the talking. Speaks when the other person stops talking. Asks questions pertinent to the other person’s remarks. Opens her mind. Puts herself in the other person’s shoes. Doesn’t listen defensively. Demonstrates to the speaker she has heard what has been said. Discerns from the content of the conversation, their mother’s or daughter’s emotional intent.
