Although you have ample reason to feel happy and exhilarated, you probably have plenty of good reasons to feel depressed, too. The following sections address some of the most common causes of depression for new fathers.
Changing Roles
Having a baby changes relationships within the whole family. You may find it difficult to adjust to these changes. For one thing, you probably won’t make love with your partner as often as you did before having the baby. Even worse, you will both no longer have as much energy to invest in each other physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. With all the dramatic changes that your tiny new tenant has wrought in your household, you may wonder, “Where do I fit in?” With no clear sense of purpose in your home, you may suddenly feel like an observer of events that seem outside your control. If so, then stop sitting on the sidelines. You may be able to shake a good deal of your depression by taking action. Define your role more clearly by participating as an equal partner. If you’re out of the house working most of the day, try to assume more than your share of caregiving when you get home. Especially if your partner works outside the home, too, you should increase your share of child care and other parenting responsibilities. Help out with household chores, too. Recognize that your partner has a full-time job even if she’s “only” with the baby all day. Do some cleaning and cooking and diapering and work your way out of depression.
