While everyone may have their own motivations for exploring adoption, the core desire for a family to adopt and what propels that family forward to complete an adoption should be based on the right motives as well as a clear understanding of what is entailed. If you find yourself thinking about adoption, there are a number of things to consider. You need to be sure you are adopting for the right reasons and that you are ready for adoption.
5 Reasons to Choosing Adoption
Whether you are looking to start a family through adoption or you are looking to add to your existing family, the best adoptions are those where prospective adoptive parents are able to move beyond their personal desires and have the interests of the adopted child in mind. Below are five solid reasons to consider adopting a child. If you find these motivations align with your heart and your mind, you are probably ready for adoption.
Giving a Child a Family
If you want to provide a child with a loving home and family, you probably have the right motivations for adopting a child, especially if your primary goal is to make your home a loving place. The best homes for adoptive children include families that are not only accepting but also want to exchange family traditions, share their faith, and make memories. It also means accepting children for who they are—even their faults, and understanding that they have a history and a heritage that needs to be respected and embraced.
Helping a Child Move on in Life
As adoptive parents, if you have an interest in helping a child heal from past grief and pain, whether this comes from abuse, neglect, being abandoned, or orphaned, then you have the right motivations for adopting a child. The best adoptive families want to help the child start a new life. They also know that there will be ups and downs with adoptive parenting and are prepared for these challenges.
Providing for a Child in Every Way
Being ready for adoption is about more than wanting to share your home with a child, it also means having the physical space for the adopted child. You also need to be financially secure in order to be able to adopt a child comfortably. After all, you will need to be able to provide for the child’s physical needs like food, clothing, school expenses, and medical care. But most importantly, you need to have the time and the emotional energy for a new family member.
Agreeing to the Adoption
If everyone in the family agrees that adding a child to the home through adoption is the right thing to do, then you are probably ready for adoption. But, if even one person is not on board, you need to take time and reconsider whether this is right for your family. You never want an adopted child to enter an environment that is not completely welcoming. Your motivation to adopt needs to be shared by everyone, including your other children. If not all the children in the home are excited about adopting, you may want to wait. Going through with an adoption when children in the home are not on board with the plan is never a good idea.
Knowing a Child in Need of a Family
When you are aware of a child who needs an adoptive home, this may motivate you to consider adoption. The child may be a family friend, a relative, or a child you met at church or within the neighborhood—whatever the reason, your family as a whole feels that you should step forward and provide a home for this child. Again, everyone in the existing family unit needs to be on board with the adoption before this step is taken. But, meeting an existing need is an excellent motivation for considering adoption.
Signs You Are Ready for Adoption
Adopting a child is a huge commitment and you may still be wondering if you are ready to take the next step. While many adoption professionals can offer advice and suggestions, ultimately the decision comes down to you. Some signs that you may be ready to start the adoption process include the following:
You’re Informed About the Adoption Process
Adopting a child is not easy. There are a number of steps that must be taken in order for the adoption to be successful for everyone involved. As a result, you need to be sure you know exactly what is involved before beginning any type of adoption procedures. If you have talked to professionals and done your homework on what your rights are, then that is a clear sign that you may be ready to begin the process. If you have no idea what is involved in adopting a child, then you are probably not quite ready for all it entails.
You’ve Come to Terms With Infertility
Not everyone who chooses adoption had this process as part of their original plans. If you have struggled with infertility, it is crucial that you have not only accepted your infertility, but that you also have healed from the emotional heartache involved. If you still have dreams of having a biological child, you may want to delay adopting. Adopted children allow you the opportunity to create a family by providing a home for a child in need, but they should not be used to mend your broken heart.
You Have Set Adoption Goals
If you are truly prepared for adoption, you probably have already set some adoption goals. For instance, you know whether you want to pursue a foster care adoption, an infant adoption, an international adoption, or another kind of adoption. Asking yourself questions about the race and age of the child you want to adopt, are also signs that you are ready for adoption. Considering all possible scenarios is an important part of the adoption readiness process.
You’re Prepared for the Process
The adoption process can be long, complicated, expensive, and emotionally challenging. If you have prepared for the challenges as well as the expenses, you are probably ready for the adoption process. You also should have a good support system in place in case things do not go exactly as planned. For instance, if you are not going through the foster care system and are instead working with a foreign entity or a local birth mother, there can be a lot of unexpected challenges along the way. If you have truly prepared for the possible scenarios, you are probably ready to begin the process.
You’re Committed to Adoptive Parenting
Becoming parents through adoption takes a strong commitment from the very beginning. As a result, one of the biggest indicators that you are ready for this challenge is that the possible issues and problems do not deter you. You are excited and determined to see this process through to the end, no matter what it takes.
A Word From Verywell
Becoming a parent is a lifelong commitment. If you don’t already have kids, be sure you are ready for all that is involved with adoption. If you do have kids, be sure you have the time and the space to care for another child. Sometimes, kids who are adopted have extra challenges that need to be dealt with. You need to be mentally, emotionally, and financially prepared to accept these challenges as they arise. If you are not there yet, there is no harm in waiting to adopt. Just be sure you are prepared for all that adoption entails before you take the next step.
