What to Know
While we were absolutely physically safer when following pandemic safety precautions, living in crisis and in quarantine was understandably hard to cope with. For this reason, researchers, doctors, and parents are concerned about the lasting impact living in quarantine had on kids’ sense of well-being, as well as the increased risk this poses for childhood depression, now and later in life. A number of studies done during the pandemic have confirmed that an unfortunate, natural byproduct of living in quarantine for many kids is feeling scared, lonely, anxious, clingy, depressed, and even suicidal. Below, we examine the signs of childhood depression, how the condition may present differently due to the pandemic, and how to help your child cope and/or prevent depression (and other mental health conditions) from taking hold.
Communal Causes
As of June 2022, the coronavirus pandemic had claimed over a million lives in the United States alone, as well as sickening millions more. Moreover, it disrupted all of our day-to-day lives, shuttering schools and businesses and devastating many swaths of the economy. Repeated COVID-19 outbreaks continue to occur. What gets less attention is the profound impact this continuing worldwide crisis has had on the mental health of children, particularly by causing a surge in childhood depression. However, many doctors, researchers, educators, parents, and government officials are now urging a greater focus on the well-being of children. As they studied the signs of depression in children isolated at home, researchers found that prolonged quarantining poses mental health risks for children—and that this impact may be felt after as few as 10 days. In China, studies have shown that upwards of 35% of kids in quarantine show signs of negative mental health consequences. Childhood depression was already on the rise before this global crisis, with as many as 8% to 10% of teens and 3% of children affected, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). Researchers believe that not only are these rates increasing now but that living through this experience is likely to increase the prevalence of depression later in life. Studies show that experiencing trauma during childhood is a key predictor of developing mental illness in adulthood. The AAP also notes that around 75% of adolescents with depression are misdiagnosed, which underscores the urgency for parents to understand and watch for the signs of this condition.
Signs and Symptoms of Childhood Depression
Depression often asserts itself differently in young children and adolescents than it does in adults. Yes, the tell-tale depressed or sad mood, lack of energy and enthusiasm for activities and life in general, dysphoria (emotional discomfort), and fatigue may be present, but children may also experience this condition in unique, and often, hidden ways that lead to under-diagnosis. Children, and especially teens, may keep their feelings to themselves, further complicating diagnosis and accessing appropriate treatment. Note that depression (and other related and comorbid mental health conditions like anxiety) often looks different in different kids as well, with each one having their own, individualized set of signs and symptoms, which may also change over time. Signs and symptoms of depression in children may include:
Anger and/or aggressionApathy for or refusal to participate in school, often accompanied by a decline in performanceBehavioral changesComplaining of stomach pain, headache, or general malaiseDecrease in physical activityDecrease or increase in appetite, which may be accompanied by weight gain or lossDefiance or hostility, which studies show may be a child’s way of expressing worry or distressDifficulty with concentration and/or executive functionDifficulty with sleep, including trouble falling and staying asleep, sleeping too much, and/or not sleeping enoughFeeling burned outFeeling sad or hopelessFeelings of griefFeelings of guiltIndecisivenessLow self-esteem and/or self-doubtReduced interest in activities or hobbies they used to enjoyRunning away from home or threatening or planning to do soSocial withdrawal from friends and/or familySuicidal ideation, talking about death or dying, self-harm, and/or giving away possessions
Again, children with depression are unlikely to exhibit all of the possible signs or symptoms in the above list—and may also present in their own way. So, be on the lookout for any subtle changes unique to your child that may indicate they are struggling. Also, be extra aware of your child’s mental health if they have experienced a loss due to the pandemic, as the death (or prolonged illness) of a loved one or acquaintance puts them at increased risk of depression. Likewise, pay close attention if your family is experiencing other forms of trauma, such as food insecurity, job loss, relocation, or divorce.
Exacerbating Factors
One difficulty of detecting depression in children during quarantine is that simply experiencing the pandemic puts people in situations that mimic, encourage, or facilitate the signs or symptoms of depression, such as being out of school, social isolation, feeling stigma for getting sick, and withdrawal from activities. Plus, the devastating effects of this world health crisis put everyone in a continuously stressful situation. Many kids have had their lives uprooted, their social lives were severely restricted, and their physical activity decreased. Some children are coping with the illness or loss of a loved one and/or the fear of getting sick. Their parents may be out of work and/or they may be at risk of being evicted. And due to health orders during the height of the pandemic, most kids lived under some form of social isolation and missed seeing friends. It makes sense that many kids, to varying degrees felt (or still feel) lonely and feeling depressed. The challenge is teasing out unhealthy from healthy coping, but even this is difficult. It may be tempting or comforting to assume that since the root or exacerbating cause of many children’s depression is the pandemic that that means there’s nothing to worry about, but sadly, that’s not the case. On the one hand, many people can relate to and understand the causes of depression during the pandemic, and in some ways, the mental health impacts of the pandemic are communally shared. But that doesn’t mean that those who are actually depressed don’t need help to feel better—and it’s unlikely that the condition will simply go away even when the disaster does.
What the Research Says
It’s important to recognize that while society at large is experiencing trauma due to the pandemic, we still need to intervene with the kids that are struggling more than normal. Plus, we may need to come to grips with the fact that a large percentage of kids may need support—and while it’s normal to struggle under these conditions, it doesn’t mean we don’t need to step in to help. Researchers are overwhelmingly alarmed by the increased rates of mental health effects kids are experiencing during the pandemic. In fact, study after study has found widespread emotional distress among children, teens, and adults. According to a 2020 comprehensive review, “High rates of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic symptoms were identified among children.” Scientists worry that the full scope of the trauma is not limited to the depression and other mental health disorders present now, but that the aftermath of the experience of living in a pandemic may cause increased susceptibility to these psychiatric conditions in the future.
Prevention and Coping
With so many kids at risk of depression (and other mental health conditions) due to experiencing widespread COVID-19 outbreaks and living under pandemic restrictions, it’s important for parents and caregivers to do what they can to prevent its development in their children.
Acknowledge Feelings of Loss
Kids missed out on a lot due to the pandemic. For many kids, just about every part of their lives was restricted, from seeing friends and playing sports to going to school or taking a trip to the park. Many special events were canceled, too, including proms, sports tournaments, graduations, birthday parties, family reunions, vacations, holiday gatherings, and even just simple outings with grandparents. It might seem counterintuitive, but talking about grief for loved ones lost (or just the sheer numbers of people dying) and about what they missed out on—including coming up with modified replacements and/or dreaming about what they’ll be able to do in the future—can help your child process and feel better about what they’ve lost. Simply sharing their sadness allows them to feel seen, valued, and less alone.
Nurture Resiliency and Calm
Most kids are, by nature, resilient, adaptable, and stronger than we imagine. However, we need to nurture their coping skills to boost these traits, especially during times of crisis, as there is only so much each kid can take. Brainstorm with your child what helps them relieve stress and feel calmer, and share what strategies help you. Coping includes both dealing with difficult emotions as well as using positive distractions. Ideas for distraction may include:
Art projectsCookingGoing on walksPhysical activityPlaying board gamesPlaying with a petReading booksSocial mediaTalking with friendsWatching TV or movies
In fact, studies show that media use is very helpful for kids in distress. Dealing with feelings head-on is often accomplished by talking things through, but also may include making goals, to-do lists, schedules, and future plans.
Stick to Routines
It’s well established that most kids do best when given structure, boundaries, and rules. While it can be challenging to keep these routines, the feeling of a normal daily schedule can be very beneficial. Have set times for meals, physical activity, and recreation. Stick to bedtimes, set limits on screen time, and continue to have your child do the activities, chores, and social plans that they used to d. That said, you’ll also want to be flexible and adjust your routine to what works best for your child. Aim for each day to follow a rhythm that cues transitions throughout the day.
Get Them Out of Their Rooms
While it’s important for kids to have their privacy and time to themselves, especially as they enter adolescence, it’s not healthy for your child to spend all their time in their bedroom. Ideally, have them come out of their rooms to play games, watch movies, and eat meals together. Go on family outings, when possible to get them outside, too. If your child is wedded to their room, consider stopping by frequently to check on them and/or bring the game, TV show, or snack to them and hang out together in their room. Essentially, make sure they feel noticed and that their needs are being cared for. Let them know you want to spend time with them and that life is getting back to normal, even if the pandemic is still a part of it.
Find Compromise
While the worst of the pandemic is over, local outbreaks continue to occur. Only you can decide what feels right for your family in terms of the stringency with which you follow recommended guidelines on coronavirus protective measures. While it’s essential to follow all the required protocols in your area, you’ll also want to find compromises and solutions that address your child’s social and emotional needs where you can. For example:
If your child misses sports, what modifications can be made for them to safely participate? If your child is craving get-togethers with friends, find a safe way to do so. If you’re not comfortable with a sleepover, can your child meet up with friends outside? Will you allow your child to go to a concert or other crowded indoor event if they wear a mask? Can you be more flexible on screen time?
Aim to strike a balance of limiting possible coronavirus exposure (keeping in mind your family members’ personal health risks and jobs) with providing enough interpersonal and outside-of-the-home interactions to protect your child’s mental health. Sometimes, just seeing a friend can work wonders for your child’s spirits.
Prioritize Grace Over Grades
Over 90% of students worldwide were impacted by pandemic-related school closures. Unfortunately, few kids thrived academically or emotionally with this change. It may help to share this information with your kids, so they know that they aren’t alone in struggling due to the aftermath of distance learning. Even though kids have returned to school, the lost academic and socio-emotional learning isn’t immediately recovered. Are the demands of school not working for your child? Talk to their teachers and school administrators about solutions and any supports that may be available. Advocate for your child and prioritize their well-being, learning, stress reduction, and participation over grades. During the pandemic, a 2020 Rand Corporation study found that one in five students aren’t even going to class—and that 80% of teachers report burnout, too. High levels of stress, feeling overwhelmed, and underperforming at school continue for many kids. Provide whatever help you can to your child, but also give them—and yourself—a break, something many teachers agree with as around 40% have opted against even giving letter grades during the pandemic.
Media Entertainment
Parents rightly worry about letting their kids go hog wild on streaming videos and gaming. But while it’s important to keep an eye on screen time and not let your child go overboard, it’s also key to give them social and entertainment outlets. In fact, studies show that media entertainment is an effective antidote to boredom, irritability, loneliness, hopelessness, and other signs of depression.
Get Them Moving (and Sleeping)
Another key component to healthy mental health for kids is getting enough exercise, fresh air, and sleep. Following a healthy diet is key, too. Day after day of being stuck at home can wear on even the most mentally tough child, so aim to get them moving and get them outside as much as you can. Usually, the more physically active they are, the better sleep they will get. Options for outings and physical activity have returned to near-normal levels, although some kid-friendly activities, parks, and businesses are closed or have limited hours. Remedy this situation by getting your kids to run, bike, or scooter around the block, go on neighborhood walks, and/or go to local parks to play. Also, sign them up for sports or other activity programs to get them moving on a regular basis.
Spend Quality Time Together
Keep your child engaged and excited about their day-to-day family life by making a point to spend quality time with them. Some ideas to inspire you:
Talk to them about their favorite topicsTeach them to cook their favorite foodsStart a family book clubCreate new family traditions (like charades night, evening stargazing, games of inside tag, weekly taco night)Switch off selecting TV shows or a series of films to watch together
While you’re together, make a point to really talk to them. Ask questions about what’s on their mind, how they’re feeling and coping, and if they’ve talked to any of their friends. Sharing your own feelings and modeling positive coping measures can help your child feel comfortable sharing, as well.
Limit News to Age-Appropriate Information
It’s important for kids to understand what it means that we are living in a pandemic and how to avoid getting sick, but you also don’t want to overload your child with scary, doomsday information, particularly if they are very young. Uncertainty about the pandemic, the family’s livelihood, and the future can be understandably jarring to a kid’s sense of well-being. Aim to keep information factual but as neutral as possible. Look for age-appropriate ways to explain what is happening—ask their teachers if you need help on this front. Monitor your kids’ internet usage to be sure they’re not obsessively reading about the pandemic as what starts out as keeping informed can quickly turn into an unhealthy fixation. Note that researchers have found that fear of asking about the pandemic can also cause distress in children. So, be sure to let kids know what’s going on, but highlight the positives as well, such as the good news that effective vaccines and boosters are now available that greatly reduce the chances of getting severely ill.
Get Them Help
If your child is struggling and/or showing signs or symptoms of depression (or any other mental health condition) get them help as soon as possible—early intervention can reduce the severity of the condition. There are lots of resources out there, including your child’s pediatrician, teachers, school principal, school psychologist, and counselors. Talking with family members and friends can help, too. Additionally, public health experts, school administrators, doctors, researchers, and government leaders are increasingly warning about spikes in child suicidal ideation and suicide attempts, often with parents not realizing how much their child had been suffering. So, treat seriously any talk or actions of self-harm, which is often an impulsive act in a moment of despair. Let your child know that their health and safety (including mental health) are your number one concern. And most importantly, that they are not alone. Remind them that the whole world is struggling through this crisis together, but that you are there to support and love them, always.
A Word From Verywell
With so much out of our control and so many unknowns about the mental health cost of living in a pandemic, it’s hard to fathom how to best protect your child from becoming depressed. However, often, the best thing you can do is to simply be present and attuned to your child’s needs and moods, as even just paying closer attention can help. That said, just like any mental health condition, you can’t fully inoculate your child from becoming depressed—and it’s no one’s fault if they do develop the condition. Instead of either of you feeling guilty, focus on providing kind, compassionate support and getting them whatever help they need. The information in this article is current as of the date listed, which means newer information may be available when you read this. For the most recent updates on COVID-19, visit our coronavirus news page.